A Year And A World Away...

Christmas always makes me reflect.  I look at old pictures...ponder over the past year...and think about how much life has changed.  When I think about 2011...I think of how full it was.  It's one of those years that feels like much more than a year...last Christmas seems like a whole world away from where we are today...

Full of triumphs...full of turmoil...full of challenges...full of thankfulness....full of life changing decisions...full of moments that took my breath away...full of tears and excitement...full of milestones...full of a new found faith and trust in the Lord....and full of letting go...

I am joyful that we have had the storms and the rocky road this year because the journey has brought us here today.  The Lord has taught us so much through it all.  And although I wouldn't want to necessarily relive certain parts of it...I am eternally grateful for it.

If you live in the Carolinas...you remember a year ago we had a huge snowstorm over Christmas (and by huge I mean a few inches...this is the south :)).  Just like the weather...we were in a dark place last year...in the center of our snow storm...and with no end in sight.  We had just found out that Addie has autism...both kids were struggling with their health.  It was in the midst of one of the hardest times in our lives.  We were trying everything we knew with our own hands and our own efforts...but we were basically a big scrambling mess.  Begging the Lord for deliverance from all these compounded financial, medical, and personal catastrophes....but we weren't really listening to Him.

So began 2011...we hoped and prayed it would be better than 2010.  In the middle of the year...amidst a plethora of discoveries and new challenges....I just wanted to give up.  "Where are you taking us Lord?"  As I sat there in tears one night...I felt calmed.  I realized that's exactly what I needed to do...GIVE UP.  It was then that the Lord started working on my heart. So he didn't deliver us from the storm this year...but He held our hands the whole way through.  I  began to feel a peace even in the midst of frightening hospital visits...more therapy appointments than I care to count...and several job changes.  It may sound strange...but He calmed my soul...He gave me rest.

This Christmas it's a whole new world for our family.  Little C is beginning to speak and interacting with us...Addie went to a parade...she's eating lunch at school...she's learning to put her clothes on...we've done things that we once wondered if were ever possible.  We've overcome so much in such a small amount of time.  He has healed our lives and hearts in so many ways.  We are finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel (that's always been there)...even if it's just enough to see one foot in front of the other.

I am beginning to understand that the Lord is using this craziness to prepare our family....  To go where He wants us to go...and to just give up on ourselves...to give up on our plans and follow Him.  

I thought that my life would be about my daughter becoming a butterfly...and that she would emerge from her cocoon.  That my son would one day speak and come out of his cocoon.  But that was the easy part.  They already are butterflies.

I think the Lord actually wanted Jason and I to emerge.  We were stuck in our cocoons and needed to let go and fly.  He has used Addie and Little C to change our lives forever.  He made us stop in our plans...in our selfish ambitions...and show us how to truly live...

Last Christmas was a year and a world away from here...and I hope I can look back next year and say the same...

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!  We love you all and are so grateful for all your love and support.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.